A Day with Snow

We came from the hot, dry season in Uganda and landed in Philadelphia in the dead of winter.  This morning, I woke up and the trees were powdered with snow.  I'll be in the US for the rest of winter and I'm sure it will soon get old, but today there was so much beauty in the snow - my first snow of the year - that I had to capture it.  I was directed to a nature center nearby my hosts' home and I reveled in the crisp air as I walked by the stream, snow slowly melting from the sprawling limbs above me.

The End of Life as I Know It

Today is the end of my life as I know it in our cozy house in a Kampala suburb.  We depart in a few hours for America and when I come back in about 5 months, our lives will have changed in a major way with a little new addition to our family.

The last few weeks, between our return from India and our departure for the US, have been full of logistical planning, home improvements, and preparing for our leave at work.  But it's also been full of confronting my fears about motherhood and having those fears comforted by the gentle kicks and waves inside my tummy that surprise me throughout the day.  I leave Uganda feeling full of support from the incredible women in my life.  Amongst all I have to pack in one suitcase for the next 5 months, I've found room for the beads these women gave me at my birthing blessingway to cling to during labor and room for their notes of love and affirmation, wanting to keep them with me and, in times of doubt, refer to the encouragement of those who know me well.

The last few days have been full of anxiety as I try to think through every detail of our travels - 5 weeks around the East Coast until I land at home in Indiana to await the birth.  Philadelphia, New York, Washington DC, Annapolis, Portsmouth, and Boston are all around the corner.  I have list upon list in a small notebook, reminding me of all that must be done, bought, and packed, all I must prepare for in those travels, for the cold weather, for the weeks after the birth.  My mind has been racing with these plans and I find myself waking in the middle of the night, thinking of another detail I must remember.

But today is different.  I truly feel ready.  I'm ready to step onto the plane, into my third trimester, and onwards toward a huge life change.  I've prepared well and I know deeply that all will be perfect, so now it's time to enjoy the present moment, to soak up these last few hours in my home.  Even with no power and no water at my house, in this moment I stare in appreciation at the tropical birds outside my window and listen to the chickens cluck beside the garden.  The planning is in the past and big changes are in the future.  The Now is perfect, as it moves slowly toward the end of life as I know it.

For a New Beginning
By John O'Donohue

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety,
And the grey promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

2014, in books

I've been an avid reader since I was a little girl.  Books are still some of my most treasured possessions.  When I visit someone's home for the first time, I love to look at their books.  I feel like the books we keep and read are a great expression of our selves, which is one reason I hesitated to publish this post.  It feels like opening the door to a private place and letting everyone in to see who I am.  It's a vulnerable act, but this is who I am.  This was my year in 2014, in books.

 
 

The Land of the Grasshopper Song – Mary Ellicott Arnold and Mabel Reed
A lovely book I picked up in a gift shop during our drive through California’s Redwoods.  It’s the true story of two women from the East Coast, commissioned by the US government to, for lack of better words, culturally colonize the native people in California.  But during their two years in the Land of the Grasshopper Song, these women grew to love the Karok Indians and advocated for their rights.  In the time of the gold rush, they were the only 2 white women around and their humorous tales are a satisfying read for anyone who admires adventurers, who can relate to the hardships and the humor of living cross-culturally, and who appreciates the depth of female friendships.

Women Who Run With the Wolves – Clarissa Pinkola Estes
If there is one book I would suggest to any woman, this would be it.  I went through this book slowly with a friend over a couple of years and now that we’re finished, we’ve decided to start over again!  The author uses stories and myths she has collected from around the world to tap into the experiences and psyches of women.  She somehow manages to always find the right words for a feeling or thought you could never describe.  It’s a book I will always treasure and, if I have a girl, will pass on to her.

The Way to Love – Anthony Di Mello
Eric and I slowly work our way through this pocket-size book, packed with depth and insight into what love really means.  We’ll read a chapter once in a while before we fall asleep or together at the breakfast table.  Anthony Di Mello always finds a way to take an old verse to a new level and often the only thing you can do with his wisdom is let it sink in.

The Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet – Benjamin Hoff
A splendid explanation of Taoism using one of our favorite childhood characters.  Its simplicity and charm will draw you in quickly and you’ll see the wisdom of becoming more Pooh-like.

The First Muslim – Lesley Hazleton
Zealot – Reza Aslan
An American Agnostic Jewish woman wrote a biography about Mohammed, the Muslim Prophet, and an Iranian American man who grew up Muslim, converted to Christianity in his teens, and now calls himself simply a follower of Jesus wrote a biography about the savior to Christians.  I had to read these books back-to-back and it was a fascinating comparison.  Both writers are compelling and place their subjects in historical context, shedding new light on their lives that is often unconsidered and overlooked by their followers and skeptics.  I highly recommend both of these books to anyone interested in religion and its relevance to our times.

In the Body of the World – Eve Ensler
Eve Ensler doesn’t tell us how our bodies, particularly as women, are connected with our Earth – she makes us feel it deep inside as she takes us on the journey of her cancer treatments and with the women of Eastern Congo.   It’s a quick read, but you’ll often want to put the book down and just feel her words and cry or laugh with her on her journey.

Strength to Love – Martin Luther King Jr.
Coretta Scott King has said people tell her that this book, of all of the books written by or about MLK, has changed their life the most.  It’s a compilation of some of King's best sermons and Eric and I have both marked up the whole book, underlining powerful quote after powerful quote.

Black Elk Speaks – John G. Neihardt
A classic of Native American spirituality, I found this biography of Black Elk, a Holy Man of the Oglala Sioux, simply fascinating.  The recounting of his life dives deeply into a spirituality our world has largely lost, while also touching on key events in the history of the Sioux.

Trauma Stewardship – Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk
A great read for anyone working in the field of social work who has ever felt burnt out, cynical, tired, or has just lacked inspiration.  You realize that you truly must care for yourself before you can adequately care and advocate for others.

Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom – Christiane Northrup
I originally bought this book to refer to from time-to-time, but upon picking it up, I found it too fascinating not to read from cover-to-cover.  I have kept it by my bedside for the last 2 years and was actually sad to finish it.  Northrup takes a very holistic approach to women’s health and has made me love and appreciate my body for the wisdom it gives me, should I choose to listen, rather than wanting my body to look differently and being scared it will somehow rebel against me.  This is another must for any woman and I have given out many copies to friends and family.

Hildegard of Bingen – Matthew Fox
This incredible nun from the 12th century, largely unknown, wrote the first opera of the West 300 years before any other, composed music anticipating Mozart 600 years before his birth, taught methods of healing and medicine that are still used today, and called out kings and religious leaders for hypocrisy, which got her interdicted at the age of 80.  She was a painter, a poet, a musician, a prophetess, a reformer, a mystic, and a healer.  She called for a reverence of nature and our Earth, called science a gift from God, and interwove the feminine into her worship of the Divine.  She is recognized as a saint of the Roman Catholic Church and was recently named a Doctor of the Church in 2012, but, as the author points out, the Catholic Church doesn’t quite know what to do with her teachings that were way ahead of her time, and quite relevant to ours!

Illumination of a Skyrider – Eric Kreutter
I am now officially married to an author.  My husband finished writing a book this year, and has even made significant progress in turning it into a trilogy!  I was honored to be the first to set eyes on the very first draft!  He has managed to use a chicken and a turtle as his main characters in this story to teach us deep life lessons.  It is an outpouring of my husband’s depth and an expression of his truest self, but it’s still a light read and fun to follow along with the journey of Fenix, a chicken trying to find his way in life!

Moving Towards Balance: 8 Weeks of Yoga with Rodney Yee
If you’d love to practice yoga at home, but are like me and think the videos on the market are too cheesy and poorly-made, this is the perfect alternative.  Rodney Yee takes you through 8 weeks of yoga, explaining every pose.  Even if you’ve done yoga for a while, it will help to remind you what each pose should feel like, and you get to go at your own pace!

The Soul of Money – Lynne Twist
I wasn’t excited to read a book about finances, but I was required to for a class I’m taking, and I am so glad it was this book on finances.  Lynne Twist challenges us to evaluate our deepest values and guides us on how to use our money to advance these values in our lives, making us richer in so many ways.

Invitation to Solitude and Silence – Ruth Haley Barton
Solitude and meditation have long been a part of Eastern traditions, but Ruth Haley Barton highlights how Western Christianity has become so frenzied, that we are missing out on the many spiritual, emotional, and physical benefits of solitude and silence.  She makes her points gracefully and provides simple practices after each short reading to pull you into this special invitation.

The Hidden Face of Eve – Nawal El Saadawi
A powerful Egyptian author, all of Nawal El Saadawi’s books have a particular punch to them and this one is no exception.  An overview of her experiences and perspective of women in the Muslim world, it is a compelling read, but one that I could only take in a little at a time due to the severity of the issues she addresses.

A Call to Action – Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter has called this the most important book he’s ever written.  He brings our attention to the plight of women and girls across the world as well as within America, shedding light on issues many would prefer to ignore.  It’s a nice summary of these compelling issues and it’s a relief to read such words from a powerful Western, white man.

More books I read in 2014:

Birthing from Within – Pam England and Rob Horowitz
The Untethered Soul – Michael A. Singer
When the Heart Waits – Sue Monk Kidd
Meeting the Shadow – Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams
Nonviolence: The History of a Dangerous Idea – Mark Kurlansky
The Mists of Avalon - Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Gifts of Imperfection – Brene Brown
The Garden of Burning Sand – Corban Addison
Uncle Tom’s Cabin – Harriet Beecher Stowe
The Call of the Wild and White Fang – Jack London
Hobomok – Lydia Maria Child
A Woman’s Book of Life – Joan Borysenko
The Wisdom of the Enneagram – Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
Wisdom of No Escape – Pema Chodron
The Abstinence Teacher – Tom Perrotta
Wise Women – Susan Cahill
Devotions: Wisdom from the Cradle of Civilization – Danielle and Oliver Follmi

Audiobooks

Hard Decisions – Hillary Rodham Clinton
The Terrorist’s Son – Zak Ebrahim
Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy

Treasures and goods from India

One of the best things,for me, about travel is the treasures I find and collect along the way.  More and more, I find myself wanting to fill my life with goods that reflect who I am and express my creativity and/or my values.  This means I am drawn to items that are handcrafted and made locally from natural materials, making me feel connected with the maker(s) as well as our Earth. In our consumer, throw-away world, it feels great to buy something special and really appreciate it.  Here are some of the things I picked up in India that I'm excited about.

1) Hand-carved wooden block stamps
These stamps are traditionally used in India for block printing on textiles, but I can't wait to use them in decorating my own stationary.

2) Scarf woven with nettle from Alaya Design Studio
Our friend, Joshua, and his wife Richa, work with artisans in Northern India to make a variety of beautiful products from local materials.  I fell in love with this finely-made scarf and it was a staple garment for the rest of our trip!

3) Macrame garden swing
The very best impulse buy.  We picked it up on our first stop and had to carry it around the rest of the trip, but it was very worth it, don't you think?

 
 

4) Hand-embroidered 100% organic cotton dress from Manvi...the Handmade
I will not hesitate to say this is the most comfortable thing I've ever worn.  The cotton is unbelievably soft and each piece by Manvi is unique and hand-embroidered my women in Northern India.  It's truly perfect.

 
 

5) Marble mortar and pestle
I picked this gem up in Agra - maybe I was inspired by the stunning marble work from the Taj Mahal!  ...to be used for grinding herbs and spices.

6) Hemp place mats
Another great purchase from our friends at Alaya Design Studios to add a natural touch to the table setting.

7) Litchi honey from DevBhumi Natural Products
Our friends in Dehradun had this honey, made locally from bees raised near litchi trees, on their table each morning for breakfast.  And each morning I spread it generously on my toast and remarked how it was the best honey I've ever tasted, which is very true.  They kindly sent us home with our very own jar!

8) Wool socks
The most cozy purchase, worn every night to bed due to the very unexpected cold weather during our travels.

9) Organic nettle tea from the Himalayas
Nettle tea has all kinds of health benefits, including some great benefits for pregnant and breastfeeding women, so I grabbed this up when I saw it at Alaya's shop!

10) Khadi cloth
I kept my eye out for khadi cloth during our whole trip and finally found the goldmine in Delhi at Khadi Gramodyog Bhavan where I chose this cloth, which I plan to make into a dress.  What is khadi cloth and what is so great about it, you ask?  Khadi is a hand-spun cloth made from cotton, wool, or silk and, through the life of Mohandas Gandhi and India's struggle for independence, khadi has come to represent much more than the cloth itself.  The spirit of simplicity, interconnectedness, self-reliance, and national pride are all spun and woven into the khadi cloth.

But maybe Gandhi can explain it better himself:
"The 'KHADI spirit' means that we must know the meaning that the wearing of khadi carries with it...If we have the 'Khadi Spirit' we would surround ourselves with simplicity in every walk of life.  The 'Khadi Spirit' means illimitable patience whilst we are spinning the thread...The 'Khadi Spirit' means fellow-feeling with every human being on earth.  It means a complete renunciation of everything that is likely to harm our fellow creatures."

11) Cotton fabric with an ikat weave
I found these beautiful materials at The Cottage Emporium in Delhi and I couldn't decide between the two, so I got both!  The ikat weave is so beautiful and I can't wait to find a design to show them off!

11) Frankincense and Ylang Ylang essential oils
Ayurvedic treatments were everywhere in Rishikesh, so I decided to boost my collection of essential oils.

Posts from India
Treasures and goods from India
Treasures and goods from India
Memories of India: the highs and lows
Memories of India: the highs and lows
Completing the Golden Triangle: Delhi, India
Completing the Golden Triangle: Delhi, India
Agra
Agra
Jaipur
Jaipur
In transit: Haridwar and the train onwards
In transit: Haridwar and the train onwards
Rishikesh, India
Rishikesh, India
Dehradun, India
Dehradun, India
Mussoorie, India
Mussoorie, India

Memories of India: the highs and lows

I love following other travel photography blogs and seeing images from others' experiences of the world, but sometimes I want to get beyond the beautiful pictures and ask, Didn't you have just one flight that was delayed? or Please tell me I'm not the only one who fights with my husband on travels.

The truth is, things go wrong.  It wouldn't be an adventure if it were all perfect images and sunshine, so in the interest of full disclosure, here are a few of the "behind the scenes" moments of our travels in India - the good and the frustrating, both of which I'm sure we'll remember with fondness one day, turning to each other to say, "Remember that time in India when...?"

  • ...upon arrival in Delhi, I picked up a newspaper and read that the airline we were taking to Dehradun just went bankrupt and was no longer operating.
  • ...we found another flight and had to rush to our gate, but I was so exhausted I could hardly stand, so when we got there, I sat down and cried and had you get me some apple juice.  Then, boarding the plane, you looked at me and laughed, with my juice box in one hand, granola bar in the other, pregnant belly sticking out, and tears running down my face.
  • ...a few pairs of my earrings were stolen from my checked bag.
  • ...it was way colder than we expected, so we had to shop for hats, gloves, and more clothes, all of which we slept in.
 
 
  • ...the place where we stayed had a leaking water tank directly over the toilet and thus a flooded bathroom floor at all times, no hot water, a fuse that kept blowing with the space heater, and a missing window pane, so I didn't shower the whole first week and we slept in our hats, gloves, and 2 layers.
  • ...we went with our friends to see the most popular Bollywood movie of all time.
  • ...many of the car rides and the crazy driving made me sick.
  • ...the other place we stayed had no toilet paper, no soap, and no towels, which was not good news after a week of no showering.
  • ...my first shower started out pleasantly steamy and switched to freezing cold just as I had wet my hair and drenched myself.
  • ...you were my pack mule and carried all the bags because my back hurt so badly and I was so tired.
 
 
  • ...I was really excited about the wool sweater I bought, but it had prickly grass interwoven into it everywhere and was way to itchy too wear.
  • ...I thought being 5 months pregnant wouldn't affect my energy level, but days spent walking totally exhausted me and my body hurt all over.
  • ...we thought we could show up at the train station and book tickets to anywhere, so we didn't plan ahead, but almost all the trains were booked.
  • ...we got in a fight over which bus to take to Jaipur and gave each other the silent treatment for 1/2 a day.
  • ...we were tired of Indian food and so excited when we saw a Dominos Pizza and Dunkin' Donuts.
  • ...I kept confronting the men staring at me everywhere we went.
  • ...we fought on Christmas day because you were walking too far in front of me and I was tired of being harassed in the streets.
  • ...we went site-seeing in Jaipur on Christmas Day, but we ended up being the main site, with so many people wanting to take our photo.
  • ...we came home and food poisoning hit us both a day later, so on New Years Eve we went to bed at 9pm because our bodies were in major recovery mode.

And in the further interest of self-deprecating humor, I leave you with selfies gone wrong: