Knitting Frenzy

Since I've been home in Indiana, I've been in a bit of a knitting frenzy.

Before, I could only knit something in the shape of a square or rectangle, but now look at me go!  I've made a few garments for myself and some cute little things for Toto.  With the extra time on my hands while we still await the baby's arrival, I scour the web for more patterns and try to keep myself sane by knitting away.

Donna poncho by Tahki Stacy Charles, Axis vest by Shibui Knits, and Camp tank by Malikoo

Top knot hat by Mack and Mabel, baby mitts by Spud and Chloe, bitty baby booties by Small + Friendly

Baby pants by Pa Avigsidan, Diaper covers by Tricksy Knitter

Also, I keep reading this beautiful article over and over.

Waiting on Nature, in Nature

A couple of days ago, I lamented to Eric about how bored I am as we await the arrival of Toto.  I had taken a few guilt-filled days binge watching episodes of Scandal and wanted to find better ways to fill my time.  I then read my own blog post when I announced my pregnancy and laughed at how, at that time, I deeply desired "solitude and easiness of life," which I now have in abundance.  This time, I'm complaining that I just want something to DO.

Dad helped us discover the Douglas Preserve in Hamilton, Indiana, just a few miles from home, and it has been a God-send.  We have been there 3 times in the past week and it's become my favorite way to pass the time, to get my butt moving, and to enjoy the coming forth of Spring.  The baby will come when Nature calls it forth and until then, I'll be waiting and walking and communing with so many forms of life in this place, as much as I can.

When I found out I was pregnant, I happened to be reading a fantastic book, When the Heart Waits, by Sue Monk Kidd, which I should revisit.

Also, due dates are a lie.  Do yourself and any pregnant woman a favor and ignore them.

Inspiration to Make You Fall in Love With Our Earth

To celebrate Earth Day, I share with you some of my favorite recent inspirations that have made me fall more in love with Nature and our Mother Earth:

“She's never forgotten, either, how a mystery caught in the hand could lose its grace.”   -Barbara Kingsolver

1. Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver

Kingsolver, one of my favorite authors, weaves together three characters in southern Appalachia as they attempt to navigate the Earth around them as well as their own human nature.  Her website calls this novel, "a hymn to wildness."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


2. The photography of Katernia Plotnikova.  Here is a teaser:

Photo by Katerina Plotnikova

3. A podcast interview from OnBeing with Wangari Maathai, Planting the Future:
"A remarkable Kenyan woman and environmentalist speaks from experience about the links between ecology, human flourishing, war and peace, and democracy. And she shares her thoughts on where God resides."

4. This quote:

5. This short video of the famous words by Carl Sagan about our Earth, "The Pale Blue Dot," paired with thought-provoking images of our world.

"If the self is expanded to include the natural world, behavior leading to destruction of this world will be experienced as self-destruction."
 -David Suzuki

6. The Sacred Balance by David Suzuki
From his website:
"The basic message of this seminal, best-selling work remains the same: We are creatures of the earth, and as such, we are utterly dependent on its gifts of air, water, soil, and the energy of the sun. These elements are not just external factors; we take them into our bodies, where they are incorporated into our very essence...
As social animals, we have an absolute need for love; without it, we suffer dire psychological and physical consequences... Finally, we have spiritual needs, which are ultimately rooted in nature, the source of our inspiration and belonging. These are the real requirements of all humanity and should form the basis of any society aspiring to a truly sustainable future."

 

7. This quote:

8. Best of all, take yourself into nature.  Pick up a leaf and notice its subtle colors and lines.  Sit in the grass and look at the clouds.  Or consider a forest bath.

“Those who contemplate the beauty of the Earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.””
— Rachel Carson, Silent Spring

Maternity pictures

We've wanted to take my maternity photos for quite some time, but the skies have been grey and cloudy in our neck of the woods, day after day, when the sun was setting, so we kept postponing it until we could get that ideal soft, glowy light.  I wouldn't advise other women to wait until their 39th week to take maternity pictures.  Of course, there's that risk of not even making it to 39 weeks and then if you do, you just might feel so fat and swollen, the last thing you want to do is pose for the camera.

But then again, maybe doing my hair, and putting on makeup, and wearing a dress made me step out of my self-pity and into embracing the beauty of late pregnancy, as least for one evening.  Pregnancy has been such a paradox for me.  One day I feel so disconnected with my body and I have no idea what it's doing and the next I feel beautiful and in awe of what this body of mine is capable of.  Unfortunately, our culture seems to tell only one side of this narrative, focusing so much on the negative and "gross" parts of pregnancy.  If you tell a friend how much you love your body or that you actually like parts about being pregnant, you're likely to get an eye roll or a stare of unbelief.  This is why I love the trend of maternity photos in our generation.  They can make us appreciate the beauty of this whole process and the incredible power of our bodies.  It's a great way to bring about the other, positive side of the pregnancy narrative.

So even though I'm at 39 weeks, my toes look like baby sausages, by body is puffy all over, and I feel more immobile than ever, I'm still thankful that I can look at these pictures and see myself as beautiful.

A big shout-out to my husband, Eric Kreutter, for taking these photos, for having lots of patience, and for making me feel beautiful when I am all too self-critical.

P.S. I thought about posting a bloopers reel of really bad photos, but decided not to do that to myself.  There is a reason photographers go through the photos themselves and choose the best ones to show you.  Maybe some day I'll pull them out for a good self-deprecating laugh, but I'm just going to stick with the positive for now.

Edit: Ok, Eric talked me into posting just one blooper, totally unedited.  Enjoy.

maternity blooper

Cravings

People often ask me if I’ve had any cravings in pregnancy and, knowing they are referring to food cravings, my response has always been, “Actually…not really.”  Although this is true when it comes to food, what I don’t mention is that I have had many cravings, just not culinary ones.

I’ve tried to listen to these cravings, nonetheless.  Some are new and some are not surprising, but I trust them inherently and have tried to hold a sense of curiosity about where they will lead.

I have craved…

...water.  I hardly ever swim, but I went to the pool a couple times a week in my second trimester.  There was something about immersing myself in water that felt natural and soothing and I couldn’t ignore it.  Sometimes I wouldn’t even swim.  I would just float, look up at the sky, and appreciate the water encompassing me.  Staying in my family's cabin on our pond has been a major bonus.

…books.  I spend some time in the mornings and evenings reading, and usually some stolen moments throughout the day.  Although this isn’t so unusual, I have sped through more books than normal and can’t help but buying more!

…pottery.  I haven’t thrown pottery since high school and even then, I took only a couple of classes.  But for some reason, I’ve badly wanted to get my hands on some clay and mold it into a form.  I finally found a pottery class at a local high school and although the teacher isn’t very enthusiastic about helping a newbie and I’m the ultimate novice, my craving is being fulfilled.  The first class left me frustrated and I thought twice about going back, but this week I tried to let go of expectation and just focus on the feel of the clay, the spinning of the wheel, and how the form changes under the pressure of my hands.  Being present in it was somewhat hypnotizing and it was just what I wanted.

…breath.  I catch myself wanting to breathe deeply.  The best way I can explain it is I have wanted to drink in air, even to chug it!

…knitting.  I finally picked up knitting again for the first time in years and I carry my projects with me nearly everywhere I go, sneaking in a few stitches or rows in car rides, during coffee house chats with friends,  and while watching TV or listening to a podcast.

 
 

Call me crazy, but I find these cravings as strong as I’ve heard other women explain their food cravings during pregnancy.  I’m as ravenous about finishing a book as some women are about a peanut butter sandwich with pickles.  Instead of sending my husband out at midnight to pick me up something from Taco Bell, I stay up half the night just to complete part of a knitting project.

I’m not sure what will happen to these impulses once the baby comes, but I have appreciated the opportunity for the creativity and health they have brought into my life during this season.