I promised myself that I would take my pregnancy as a time to rest and as an opportunity to reflect more on my inner life; but looking back at the last 7 months, this baby has been in 8 countries and 11 US states in utero, a great indication that my intention for rest has certainly not been achieved.
But last week, I arrived at my Hoosier home, my final stopping place before little Toto*, our baby, makes an appearance in this world. There is a cabin next to my parents' house, filled with the cabinets and furniture from my grandparents' old home, stocked with their dishes, and decorated with my grandmother's quilts and pictures of my extended family.
Upon arrival at home, I began unpacking my things and nesting in this cozy place. I now spend my mornings in quiet meditation, looking out at pond, now frozen, where I spent so much of my childhood. In the evenings, I knit by the fireplace while listening to a podcast or audiobook. I have no internet or television and I like it this way. Finally, I'm getting the rest I've promised myself from the beginning.
This place symbolizes family and heritage for me. It gives me a sense of grounding in my life that is literally all over the place; it is, to me, a place where I take off my wings and I feel my roots. This is where I will stay for the next 3 months, where Eric will soon join me to await Toto's birth, and this will be the very place where Toto is welcomed into our family.
*Toto means "baby" in Swahili. It is the name we've chosen to refer to our unborn baby, since we've decided not to know the gender.